It’s been a bit, hasn’t it? Like most people when it comes to creative pursuits, I ebb and flow with inspiration, things to talk about and just plain not feeling like writing. And for the first time since I started writing, I didn’t try to push through.
Under normal circumstances, I would push through the rough patch for a week or two and my well would refill. Even if I couldn’t come up with something, simply engaging with things I had previously written was enough to keep my ship tethered to the dock, waiting for my next voyage.
For the past few months, there was no trip. My ship has remained at dock, collecting algae and barnacles on its hull, and I wasn’t sure when I would return to it. So, what have I been up to?
Working, primarily. But many learning experiences along that road as well. I’ve fallen in a depression again, I climbed to the peak of two mountains, became an uncle and really learned to appreciate the connection to people that I desperately need.
Being cooped up in the mountains, with the same ten or so people, has completely sapped me of my creative will. There is an energy that humans give off that cannot be recreated. And while natural energy and vibrations absolutely have their place and give me so much, I need that human energy to be creative.
In that same vein, I revamped this website. A new name (Erhöhen means “elevated” in German), a new logo and a new mindset on what I want to create. More on this in the future.
Less than a mile from the resort I’ve been living at, on my descent from the first mountain I climbed, I broke down listening to an interview with Tabitha Brown. Look her up, she’s a brilliant ray of light in the world. Some of the things that she spoke about resonated so much with me and I just couldn’t handle the combination of exhaustion and truth flooding into my system.
I learned to see people as energy. Instead of viewing a negative experience with a person as someone that I don’t like, I changed my thinking to be “my energy clashes with their energy”. It’s let me disconnect from my anger and frustration with people, which has been good for me, especially in times like these.
All of these things can come across very simplistic when written out, but they were all months, even years in the making. I’ve never been to a therapist, though I know I need to start, so the work I’ve put into my self-improvement has been all on my own, with some help from being able to write about my issues. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am.
But it’s time to take that next step. To step into my own power and bet on myself. To be a part of the silences and places to absorb information rather than to contribute to the noise and bullshit in the world. I spent a lot of time thinking I should write instead of knowing that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.
My mindset has flipped. I’m not cocky, but confident. I’m not overstepping, but sure that the landing will be there. I’m creating some affirmations for myself now that will carry me forward and help me stay the course when those roadblocks inevitably reappear.
I will keep my body AND mind clear of bad energy and consume a healthy diet of positive energy, clean foods and things that contribute to my growth. I will tap into my own energy and use it positively to create real connections with others, and make an active effort to find those people whose energy resonates with me.
And lastly, as stated before, I want to contribute to the silence, not the noise. For me, that means you will only hear from me when I have something meaningful to say. Luckily, I’ve got a lot of thoughts that have been waiting to get out. Peace, love and positivity.