Time to Come Clean…

I wrote a poem recently titled “Vulnerable” where I spoke to how much of a strength vulnerability is. But I haven’t been living fully in that truth of vulnerability because I have been hiding my work from people in my life.

So I need to come clean. I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally comfortable with who I am; flaws and imperfections as well as my strengths. And as people have inevitably left and entered my life, I’ve realized that I only want people to be in my life because they know ME.

If someone isn’t comfortable with who I was, who I am and who I am becoming, then they won’t play an important role in my life anyway.

So, this article is for a very small portion of people, and it’s only people who know me in real life. For everyone else, feel free for a brief recap of my last ten months or so.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

For the last ten months, I’ve been writing. For some, it may be considered a lot. For others, it may be chump change. But it’s me.

I’ve talked about my bouts with depression, alcoholism, and relationship struggles. And I’ve talked about what inspires me, what brings me pure joy, and how much I’ve come to love myself FIRST, before trying to bring someone into my once chaotic circle.

I’ve explored basic blogging formats, poetry, my desires to someday write a novel, a book of poetry, and really everything in between. Writing is the purest, simplest way for me to express myself, and it has helped me process trauma in my past, both internal and external.

I’m not a sob story. There are millions upon millions of people who have gone through much worse than I have. But everyone has a story, and I believe that it is all of our jobs to tell ours.

I also adopted a “pen name” (for lack of a more correct term. Liam Silas. Liam is a shortened version of my actual first name, which means “resolute defender”. Silas is a name I chose, meaning “of the forest”. I chose this because I’ve never felt more at home and at peace as I do when surrounded by trees.

As a teenager, my friends and I would have probably referred to someone like who I am now as a hippie. And I have a lot of “hippie” tendencies. But now, I just see myself as “truth”.

I hope my family and friends go back and read what I wrote. Not for views or any selfish reasoning. But for understanding and also, for some opportunities at deeper, more meaningful conversations with them.

To anyone who has ever read anything I’ve ever written, thank you for taking a moment for me. It truly means the world to me that anyone gains anything from my words. I’d love to make a career in writing, and I have some ideas on how to get there.

Until then, I’ll start by just being myself, finally, with the people who know me, have known me, and will know me. Thank you.


Photo by Nitish Meena on Unsplash

View at Medium.com

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